Sadness of Life

Missing You, or Am I Lost in My Wonder?
Let me see you just once more.
Hold you close in my arms for eternity, I implore.

If only I could catch a glimpse of you,
Even if it’s a fleeting second,
Even if it’s within the realms of my dreams,
Even if I am just wandering in my wonder of wonders.

If only I could steal a glance at you,
I'd confess I miss you,
Every day and every night.

They say it gets easier with the passing of time,
Yet, I yearn for one more stolen glance at you,
One more time.

While you observe me from a distance,
I wonder if you are content.

A young girl, selfless, placing others above,
Championing beliefs, laws, love – her own joy she'll shove.
Her unwavering commitment defines her each day,
Living a dual life, masking pain behind eyes that feign.

Hoping loved ones stay blind to her inner strife,
Yet, when stars gleam, tears escape her life.
Haunted by the fear of causing harm to those held dear,
This silent torment relentlessly whispers, she can't clear.

Faced with moral dilemmas, a call so tough,
Choices unforgivable, nearly impossible enough.
To close her eyes, turn away, ignoring the plight,
A man in peril, once a helping hand so bright.
Or aid him now, risking the arms that raised her high.

Confusion grips her, torn 'twixt loyalty and need,
Unable to forsake those who planted love's seed.
Each choice inflicts pain upon someone dear,
Silently she carries the weight of danger near.

Sleep eludes her, night echoes the dilemma's call,
Contemplating solutions, a quest to preserve all.
Acknowledging potential harm to the innocent soul,
Yet, paralyzed by the fear, reluctant to play the role.

Despite life's complexity, a hopeful smile she bears,
Determined for resolution, navigating through life's snares.
Raising her voice to the sky so vast,
Seeking answers from angels, devils, intertwined at last.

Born with a fractured heart,
Forgiving yet never forgetting,
I've spent my life pondering—
Could I discover a remedy?

Finally, I found a cure.
However, it didn't last,
As the cure wreaked havoc on my heart.

Encountering yet another broken heart,
Rare is the person born with one,
That forgives and never forgets.
And I, it seems, am a rare one.

Gazing at the stars,
As I close my eyes,
Feeling the raindrops down my skin.

Wondering if the day
Would ever come by,
To bid you goodbye.

Before the Angels whisk you away,
Far beyond my reach.

Wishing one day
That might come by,
Where I see you dancing with thy Angels,
Beyond the stars in the enormous sky.

Don't leave me disappointed without understanding,
Why I kept my silence, never revealing a thing.
Don’t call me a liar; my words were true,
When I claimed I was fine, though deep inside I knew.

I harbored a secret, delicate and concealed,
Not a lack of trust, but a wound unhealed.
It wasn't my intention to keep you in the dark,
I wished to share with you, unveil my inner mark.

Hoping you'd see through me, comprehend my plight,
Believing you could grasp why I shrouded my fight.
But my expectations faltered, reality was wrong,
You didn't provide strength; instead, my heart's song.

You could've embraced me, whispered, "It's okay,"
Offered comfort in the dark, guiding my way.
Aware you weren't prepared, understanding was amiss,
I longed for you to notice the many cuts, the abyss.

Forgive me, I wasn't there
When you needed me the most.
I'm not perfect, Baba,
Still making mistakes, I boast.

Don't get me wrong,
I meant to let you rise alone.
Didn't think you'd end this way,
Didn't see your strength decay.

I didn't see you
Growing weak.
Couldn't believe my eyes
As you fell into the abyss, so deep.

I just stood by, watched you fall.
Forgive me for leaving you.
Didn't know what to do,
Didn't know what to say to you.

Is it too late to save you?
Did I do wrong?
Oh, please forgive me,
I never meant to hurt you.

You gave up on me so easily,
I thought you loved me.
I believed you cared,
Expected faith in me shared.

I assumed I could trust you,
That was my mistake.
You didn't hurt me; I hurt myself,
Believing in you too much, my wealth.

You can never know,
I never gave up on you.
No matter how much you hurt me,
I never said anything true.

I complained about little things,
Why did you change like this?
I thought you meant it,
When you said, 'I love you.'

I need you more than words can express,
Yet my actions seem to cause you distress.
Unsure of how to change or what to do,
I long to see you happy; it's true.

My love for you runs deep and sincere,
I fear getting hurt, so please, lend an ear.
Let's not play games that end in strife,
Misunderstandings can mar the beauty of life.

To move forward, I must amend the past,
Fixing what should've been done steadfast.
I yearn for conversations and embraces so sweet,
Bringing back the warmth of when our hearts would meet.

I've distanced myself to prevent you from pain,
But every action seems to be in vain.
In your arms, I long to find solace and peace,
A love that doesn't wane, a bond that won't cease.

I wish I could express these thoughts and more,
Gazing into your eyes as emotions pour.
Yet, there's a fear that lingers in my mind,
That you might treat our love as a passing kind.

Sometimes I wonder, are you like the rest?
Playing with emotions, putting love to the test.
Will boredom strike, leading to a parting blow?
I fear losing you, the only solace I know.

I desire to have you completely mine,
Yet, reality seems to draw a line.
Hoping for a future where our hearts entwine,
Yearning for a love that stands the test of time.

I'm just a girl,
Who has fallen for you,
Yet, empty promises you strew.

But it's okay; love still holds true,
Though each promise you misconstrue.
Trust wanes as you continue.

Now my heart feels the strain,
As your words fall in vain,
In this love, drowning in the rain.

The world is tearing apart,
Such misunderstood art.
The wounded and the injured,
Bear witness to what the world's endured.

Who sits on thrones perceives beauty,
A perfect world in false unity.
Oh, what a calamity!

The media shouts of damage,
Words and promises from thrones engage.
Innocents' happiness, faithful belief—
The throne's lies: unfaithful, a thief.
Oh, what a misunderstanding.